Hi Im John!!
sup
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  • lesbian: that girl is really cute
  • straight boy: oMG DO YOU WANT TO FUCK HER OR SOMETHING LMAO CAN I WATCH
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oh-flern:

Jean-Ralphio Singing At People

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llttlemermaid:

He wasn’t good enough for her.

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pemsylvania:

welcome to my crib sorry it’s a little small i’ve had it since I was a baby

(Source: pemsylvania)

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stupidoomdoodles:

dad jokes

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(Source: zedd-deadx)

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g2gfast:

today my little brother (hes six) put a seashell to his ear and told me the ocean said im a nerd

(Source: swellsea)

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(Source: meanplastic)

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andrewpauldost:

what if u had an identical twin that did porn and u like went to the grocery and theyre like “omg i saw u take 3 dicks at once while wearing a turtle costume” and ur like “god dammit gary”

(Source: grossr5)

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  • Teacher: "Can you please tell the class why you're so late?"
  • Me: Someone told me to go to hell
  • Me: Couldn't find it at first
  • Me: But now I'm here
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fartgallery:

a little boy just ripped off one of the family sticker kids on the back of his moms car and then vanished in thin air. the curse has been broken. he is free now

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cyborgcap:

Cataclysm: Ultimate Spider-Man #28