one time this guy in my class drew a penis on the blackboard with a permanent marker and continued the drawing with an erasable marker and made it to be a cat and my english teacher wanted to write on the blackboard so she tried to erase the drawing and the cat went away and all that was left was a penis and we all cried laughing and she just sighed and said “its so small”
(via c0cainewaffles)
when someone u really liked stops talking to u
Reblogging for that ^ xD
that is the only thing there
(via klinklang)
I swear like 85% of all popular text posts are made by the same 5 people.
Actually I’ve never had a popular text post but it’s good to know you enjoy my blog
(via pizzaforpresident)
my parents split after they made me. i am a volcano. they are tectonic plates. follow for more geological humour.
i really hope the two people who just followed me aren’t looking for geological humour or you are going to be earth-shatteringly disappointed
this post is one of my best by a landslide
(Source: circumcisions, via tessaviolet)
what happens if you run in front of a car
you get tired
what happens if you run behind a car
you get exhausted
this is comedy gold. you should take notes
(via ubersaur)
GET IGNORED SO MUCH BITCHES CALL ME TERMS AND CONDITIONS
at least you get accepted no matter what
that’s the most uplifting thing i’ve seen all day
(Source: stevebrule, via jojoiscanon)
any negative thing that can happen about yahoo buying tumblr is worth the “david karp daddy” jokes stopping
how sure are you about that
vomits on everything
(via john-gaybert)
hot males please hit me up
but you are a fucking lesbian
WHO TOLD YOU
(Source: hotanimegirl, via hotanimegirl)
I fucking hate game night with the engineering graduates
(Source: the-thought-emporium-imperial, via what-is-this-i-dont-even)